Bridezilla…the word just conjures up all kinds of negative emotions. No bride wants to be called a bridezilla especially by her family and friends. As a woman, I find it to be a hurtful name. I believe most women would not want their family and friends to call them such a negative name. So how do you know when you have become a bridezilla and what can you do about it?
First, let’s define what a bridezilla is. According to Dictionary.com a bridezilla is “a bride-to-be who focuses so much on the event that she becomes difficult and obnoxious.” The suffix “zilla” comes from the Japanese movie monster Godzilla.
No one can fault you for being excited about getting married but it is important to remember that there is more to life. Your friends and family have things going on as well. So if you find that all you talk about is your wedding, you need to take a step back and reconnect with your friends and family. Ask them what is going on with them, do they have any problems that they would like to discuss, ask about their families or work, or anything that is of interest to them. Showing them that you are concerned about their life will overcome a multitude of times when you are preoccupied with wedding planning.
Another way to determine if you are a bridezilla is if you have no regard for your wedding budget whether you are paying for it or your parents are. Unfortunately unless you are very wealthy, you need to stick to the budget. Expecting your parents to spend outrageous amounts of money and possibly jeopardizing their retirement is rude and thoughtless. Have open and honest discussions with your parents about expenses and be willing to compromise. While on the topic of money, you should also be a good steward of your friend’s expenses. Most bridesmaids are excited to stand up with you but once the numerous expenses start piling up, they tend to get bitter. I am sure that you want to keep your friends after the wedding as well so be respectful of how much money they are spending and offer several flexible options for them to consider.
Check your attitude. Are you angry, frustrated, or impatient with family, friends, vendors, or your groom? Is no one returning your phone calls, emails or text messages? That is a warning sign that you are becoming a bridezilla. It is stressful to plan a wedding but you should not take it out on people. If you find that you are not happy, then you need to take a step back and figure out why. It is possible that you need to downsize your plans or adjust your expectations. Treating people with respect will garner more favorable results than yelling at someone. If you are having trouble with a vendor, see if your wedding planner, parent, or your groom can talk with them. Sometimes it helps to have another person take on the task that is causing you so much stress.
Registering for gifts is a lot of fun but only registering for expensive gifts will cause people to think that you care more for their pricey gift rather than their presence at your wedding. Don’t be so consumed with material things that you forget people are the most valuable thing you want at your wedding. I’d rather have fewer presents and more of my loved ones see me marry the love of my life. Place reasonably priced items on your list as well as some more expensive items. Trust me, can openers do not last as long as you think so if you get two or three, I would keep all of them.
I hope these signs have helped you to evaluate if you are becoming a bridezilla. Asking someone you trust to read these signs to might help get a accurate perception on how you are coming across to others as well. Making people remember your wedding is as easy as making them feel special and appreciated during your wedding planning. You don’t want your wedding to be remembered as a drama filled event that no one enjoyed. Keep in mind that your wedding day is just one day…but your marriage is for a lifetime.